- Finding My Joy! -
Sunday night, on the last day of July, I capped off my birthday month with a Chili Peppers concert.
Going to their shows has always been a source of total excitement - (If you've known me for a while, you know I turn into a teenage girl unable to contain her frantic vibrations, haha).
Something was different this time, though, I was as excited as ever, and I also felt conflicting emotions.
- Breaking Open -
I didn't understand what that sensation was until the concert started and Chad Smith (the drummer), Flea (the bass player), and John Frusciante (the newly returned guitar virtuoso) began the show jamming on stage. Their love for each other and connection to the divine through music were undeniable.
At that moment, I felt tears in my eyes.
The vibrations of the music opened a gateway to my heart that had been locked for a while; I became aware of the walls I had built around me & how much I closed myself off from receiving.
Through the vibrations, the walls were crumbling down. I was accepting and open to pure joy and love.
- Refilling My Cup -
The world has been through many different phases, especially since 2020.
I've always felt called to serve, and since the pandemic, I have tried everything in my power to bring a little release however I could.
I did my best through my offerings (Coaching + Meditation) to create a space where people could let go, exhale deeply and renew for a moment.
I also attended trainings to serve my community better. And found creative ways to pay my bills as the world was shutting down and uncertainty became the new normal.
My cup was running low, not because I was giving so much of myself but because I didn’t allow myself to replenish.
Can you relate?
I know I am not the only one who tried to pour from an empty cup.
- Following My Heart -
That realization got me to California, where the ocean & dear friends helped me recalibrate.
As an empath, I feel the world hurting; as a human, I want to help. I am here to serve.
My ego, however, was at play.
Between the voice that was telling me:
"Who are you to help?", "what can you really offer to help others during a pandemic."
And when I felt tired, the voice telling me:
"Many people have it so much worse than you, don't complain and keep going,"
or
"you don't have time to rest, others are tired too, and they've lost so much, yet, they're out there helping,"
The more I felt the pull to follow my heart, the louder that little voice got. But little by little, I got to where I was going.
- The Realization -
Sunday made me realize that I was STILL denying myself pleasure. And the voice sending me messages of guilt/shame was still present in my life.
Yea, I still have work to do, sigh.
Accepting abundance in all ways should be simple, yet my subconscious is trying to keep me where I once was. This time, however, I am not beating myself up for not realizing it sooner.
I allow myself to open up to receive profound joy as it comes, not shaming myself for accepting it or doing "it" again when I resist the gift & no self-talks about how I should know better.
There are different levels of Awareness. And I am climbing that ladder slowly.
Sunday night felt so good; I was present, appreciating every vibration going through my body. And when the tears swelled up in my eyes, I felt alive. I was enjoying the moment to my fullest ability.
It felt so good to be that present.
So let me ask you this:
How can you be more present in your life?
Where and how are you stopping yourself from receiving & accepting joy in your life?
And would you like to know how to open the gate to receive more joy & abundance in your life?