Pen Pals! A conversation with Cathy and Elaine

Most 2nd Story students know Cathy Dirkx from her calming Sunday night restorative class and her fiery vinyasa practice. Cathy has been in the midwest since March and is bringing some much-needed grounding to 2nd Story with her Livestream yoga nidra workshop on Sunday, November 1 (more information about the workshop here). Elaine and Cathy recently caught up over email to discuss online teaching strategies and how to keep calm during stressful circumstances (hint: “keeping it together” is overrated!) 
 

ELAINE: You've been in Des Moines since the start of the pandemic. What's the vibe there? Are places open for business? Is it dramatically different from times you've been there before? How do you spend your time?

CATHY: Des Moines is A LOT quieter than NYC, to say the least. I am staying in a studio apartment located downtown, and most people live in houses. So, it feels more like suburbia. Not many people live downtown. It's easy to social distance. 

I am fortunate enough to have a beautiful sculpture park across from the apartment building (with a Keith Haring, Louise Bourgeois, Richard Serra sculpture, among others) and a small lake where I can take walks with Shanti, my pup, and reconnect with nature and art. It's been super grounding being here through this pandemic. It gives me space to roam, think, and create.

I do miss NYC, though.

Businesses such as restaurants and bars are open with limited capacity (indoor + outdoors). Masks are required when entering businesses.

I haven't spent much time in Des Moines before the pandemic, but I know this past summer was different. Des Moines is known for big outdoor concerts, county fairs, and markets; it was all canceled this year.

I spend my time meditating, yoga-ing, walking, hiking, and biking. Des Moines has hundreds of miles of private bike trails sponsored by corporations.

ELAINE: Practicing online has been a big adjustment for teachers and students. How have you adapted to teaching online? Any tips for students (or other teachers!) about how to stay connected to your practice through online classes?

CATHY: Ah, I am still adjusting to teaching online!! Like everything else, it is a practice; every day is different!!

It is wonderful, though, to be able to connect with students from all over the world!

Tips for students: Keep your screen on if you can. I realize you are practicing in your private space, and inviting others in, can feel invasive; but it also helps you connect with the other students on screens. We are all in this together; it's the best way to give and receive energy and practice non-judgment towards ourselves. Oh, it's been a BIG one for me!! #nonselfjudgment

Tips for teachers: invest in a good mic and some lights if you can + step off the mat from time to time to instruct without demo-ing.

It will save your energy and help you connect directly to your students.

ELAINE: Interesting that you mention stepping away from the mat when you teach. I JUST started watching students as they move instead of practicing in front of the camera, the entire class. For me, at the beginning of the pandemic, it was liberating to show every move. It was like I could just present students the practice I had in mind, and they could choose to apply what worked for them. It’s different 7 months later! I have more of a longing to see my students engage in their practice, even if I can only see half their body. 

Same with my students and their cameras. I used to encourage people to have their camera off if they didn’t want to be visible, but now I ask them to turn it on at least in the beginning of class so I can connect with them for a moment, at least. I miss them!  

I also enjoy watching students creatively use their furniture and other items when they’re in class. As a restorative teacher, do you have any methods of converting household items into yoga props? 

CATHY: That question made me smile, yes I've had to be creative myself, especially at the beginning of the pandemic when I traveled to Des Moines and the only props I had were a couple of blocks and a mat!

• I've used big books (art books, cookbooks, thick dictionaries if you still have some around) instead of blocks to prop up a bolster 

• Paper towel rolls can also be used under knees in supta baddha konasana

• instead of a strap, use belts, pet leashes, scarfs...

• couch cushions make a GREAT bolster or you can also use firm throw pillows.

• blankets and bathroom towels are great props to add support in some poses or to cover yourself up

• bed pillows under your head especially in savasana

• you can even use your pet (small dog or kitty) as a sandbag :) 

ELAINE: How has your personal practice changed during the lockdown?

CATHY: My lower back has been super tense and painful since March/April, so I've had to take a step back from my physical practice. I've been a lot gentler with myself, deepened my meditation practice. I haven't inverted much since March except on my Feet Up prop. I do miss my handstands!!

ELAINE: The pandemic has obviously been loaded with challenges for everyone, but have any pleasant surprises developed for you during this time?

CATHY: Slowing down is the best thing that happened to me. Instead of a human DOING, I became a human BEING.

It took a few months actually, although I couldn't go anywhere because of the quarantine, it didn't stop me from "doing"; I was adjusting to teaching online, creating the best space in my apartment to teach, preparing to lead an online Yoga Nidra teacher training, mentoring 4 amazing students through their 200hr TT, working nonstop to keep my mind busy and doing my best to serve my yoga community. And I hit a wall. I realized I needed to regroup. So I did, and I meditated on what would serve all the people I wanted to help best and me.

I took some trainings and workshops in yoga & social equity, anti-racism, and coaching to refine my mentoring skills.

What I discovered is that I wanted to create my own mentoring/coaching program to help women, in particular, shine their light brighter.

Have you ever felt like there is something more to the life you are living, a pull towards your heart desires?

Do you stop yourself from exploring your desires? I want to help these women explore their calling, discover what fires them up, what brings their light out so they can shine it on a world that really needs it right now. 

It took me slowing down to discover that there was a life coach inside of me!

ELAINE: I love that you appreciate slowing down! I’m also learning the value of doing less. At the same time, so many people are dealing with more pressure at home and with their conditions at work. Stress is a constant these days, and Kay and I have been emphasizing sanity as a point of focus at 2nd Story this month. Any practices or strategies that keep you from losing it?

CATHY: Losing it is not always a bad thing, haha. We need to let the emotion go through us. It's okay to be angry, sad, fearful, and... we have to remember that there are no bad emotions, it's just emotion! The key is to not stay in that state.

I rely on my meditation & yoga practice a lot when everything spins out of control. Sitting on the ground, one hand on my chest, the other on the earth, and breathing deeply always help me. And doing that by a body of water is the ultimate reset; I prefer the ocean, but a river or a lake is just as powerful, just sitting there and listening to the water makes me feel better, no matter what.

ELAINE: Tell us about yoga nidra? How did you get interested in it, and what inspires you to continue practicing it?

CATHY: I discovered Yoga Nidra the same year I did my 200hr Teacher Training (2009) - I participated in a workshop led by Rod Stryker and felt so good, so opened; everything around me seemed brighter, colors were more vivid. Simply, I felt more connected to myself and the world around me afterward. 

It helped with my stress & anxiety. I felt super anxious about teaching yoga in front of a class during training; sometimes, I couldn't even speak. It made me more confident.

I never thought that I would ever be instructing Nidra, let alone leading Nidra teacher training! it was just a guided meditation I did for me, so I could be a better yoga teacher and better & healthier human overall.

After 5 years of practicing it on my own, it then occurred to me that if it was so beneficial for me, it could be for my students as well.

So, I decided to get certified and offer it to help students with their own anxiety, stress, insomnia, chronic pains... I've led workshops and TT ever since.

Students inspire me to keep practicing and offering it. There is nothing more satisfying to me than seeing the faces of the students after receiving that practice. I can see the stress melting, and faces are relaxed, their gaze is sharp, the shift they experience shows all over their body. And that keeps me going and wanting to share more.

Fly Like An Eagle...

I saw my 1st bald eagle in the wild today.

Who knew that I would experience such a majestic sighting in Des Moines, IA?

Seeing an eagle symbolizes change and can mean that it is time to prepare for transformation and gather courage, strength, and wisdom.
I am embarking on a new journey and asked for a sign, so I know seeing this beautiful bird of prey is no coincidence.

Life takes unexpected turns sometimes. Some we cherish, some that ultimately makes us grow.
As we approach the end of Summer 2020, I reflect on what I've learned so far this year and especially this summer.
I've learned that:

• nothing is permanent

• pushing the pause button is necessary, so I can remain mindful and present (even when the button is pressed for me)

• I am a human BEING, not DOING (so difficult to simply be!)

• I am forever a student.

• I have biases passed onto me by my upbringing, ancestors, and the society I live in

• I need to continue to challenge the knowledge I am offered and question the source instead of blindly accepting it as truth (do my research!)

• I am privileged because of the color of the skin I was born in (white identifying)

• I will never know what it feels like to live in a black or brown body. The empathy I feel is nothing compared to a lived experience.

• I must listen, truly listen

• I will mess up over and over, AND I must keep trying

• I can make a difference (each drop in the ocean, makes the whole ocean)

• I must follow my heart

• I will keep fighting for Equity, for Love, for what's right

• and, SO MUCH MORE…

Some of this knowledge comes from trainings I took with:

• Seane Corn,

• Michelle Cassandra Johnson, (follow her on IG, take her workshops + training + watch her TEDx Talk),

• Brima Jah, who teaches a Yoga & Social Equity teacher training, (it should be a requirement for ALL yoga teachers currently teaching in the US) and,

• Ambient Noise Training.

Over the summer, I also participated in a 21-day abundance meditation challenge led by Deepak Chopra. I took an online coaching class led by Giovanni Marsico from Archangel Academy called Dream Circle.
It opened up my eyes and heart to my deepest calling. I am now taking the leap and am in the process of creating a mentoring/coaching program designed to help people discover or get back in touch with their unique gift(s) and empower them to take the steps to follow their dreams. I genuinely believe that if each and every one of us were living our dharma, the world would be a better place.
As I am developing my project, I will also take an intuitive coaching training for the next six months to help me built it.

Yoga is still and will forever be a big part of my life, so expect to see some aspects of it in my program (more to be revealed in the months to come)
Starting in October, I will continue to offer online classes and workshops. And coming in 2021, I am putting together a 25 hour Yoga Nidra Teacher Training 1 & 2 (Yoga Alliance accredited).

A lot is happening, and I'm excited about it.

2020, What a year so far!

Sensuality - A Relationship to Oneself.

Sensuality is a word that brings up feelings of ecstasy or uneasiness. It is a simple word, that most of us have an opinion or sentiment about, whether we express it or not.

I’ve asked women on social media what sensuality meant to them. I wanted to hear the 1st thing that came to their mind, not the intellectual, well thought out response, but the raw one that comes from the heart.
The responses I received were simple and so profound at the same time (Read them below).

But let’s start from the beginning, What is actually the definition of the word Sensual?
This is directly from the Webster Merriam dictionary:
Definition of sensual

1. relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite : FLESHLY

2. SENSORY sense 1

3. a: devoted to or preoccupied with the senses or appetites

   b: VOLUPTUOUS

   c: deficient in moral, spiritual, or intellectual interests : WORLDLY especially : IRRELIGIOUS

Sensuality is instinctive, something we naturally possess but may be suppressing (sometimes due to definition 3c), something that makes us human yet can take us into higher consciousness.

Why is it important to tap into our sensuality?

The simple answer is: FINDING PLEASURE.
When we tap into our sensuality, we feel good!
I love the feeling I get when I dance, I move my hips & my whole body follows. In that instant, I move for ME, let my body take me on a journey, Now, I am not a dancer I just love to move. I let my hips guide me & get lost in the movement, in the moment. It takes me to a higher level where all the worries, the stress of everyday life disappear in an instant.
The same sensation appears when I’m swimming in the ocean, the water is embracing me, It’s like a soothing touch all over my body.
As soon as I touch the water I feel sensual & softly held. I float, let my ears listen to the sound of the underwater world, muffling the other sounds surrounding me & I suddenly feel at one with all.

Sensuality is not necessarily Sexuality

Sensuality is often associated with sexuality. Sure, when you feel that good in your own body, it is a lot easier to share yourself fully & truly with a partner.
The connection established in sensuality takes our physical experience to another level. And who doesn’t want to experience that kind of connection? But I personally experience sensuality without sex (dancing, moving on my mat, swimming in the ocean…) and sex can be experienced without sensuality as well. It is so much more than an act. It’s a connection to our deepest self.

Sensuality & Trauma

For some of us, because of unpleasant experiences associated with sensuality, we may prevent ourselves from letting go and suppress our sensual side.
Our culture, our surroundings, the way we’ve been raised or treated by our peers, trauma we’ve experienced, can shape how we see our sensual self.
If we grow up in an environment where sensuality is associated with moral deficiency, shame & guilt may be what we experience instead of pleasure.
We feel disconnected from our body.
Depression & anxiety may be experienced, which can lead to careless sex or unsatisfying sexual relationships, drug use, heavy alcohol consumption… and anything else that helps us numb our senses.
And if we feel uneasy about our own sensuality, it may show up in other aspects of our life too:

• Rigidity in our body and/or mind

• lack of connection with our partner

• lack of confidence

• lack of self love/self care

• stress

• and so much more…

So what do we do to reconnect?

• First of all, be gentle with yourself.

• Reconnect with your body and mind slowly and in a loving way.

• Meditate at least a few minutes a day. Find an uplifting mantra you can stick with for 40 days.

• Do something that brings you pleasure & joy, something creative to reconnect to your 2nd chakra (your center of creativity) like art in any form, photography, pottery, painting, drawing, writing, singing, journaling…

• Add something physical that brings you joy: dancing, yoga, martial arts and any sports that you enjoy, it will make you feel freer. It’s important to move that stagnant energy around.

• Add sweet scents to your life: buy yourself flowers, take a bath with essential oils: Neroli, Jasmine, Rose, Clary Sage, Geranium are a few good ones to stimulates your 2nd chakra and make you feel sexy.

• Connect with people who uplift you. Go to a class together, invite them for tea or coffee.
  
  

Sensuality is our God given right

Sensuality is part of who we are. It is expressed differently in each and everyone of us & comes from our heart and soul.
Sensuality exists in all bodies, no matter the shape or age.
It is beautiful beyond physical beauty.
It is innate. Our right to be and express ourselves exactly as we are. It is who we are.
It shows up as we lock eyes with a stranger for a brief moment, in the flick of hair over a shoulder, curve of a neck. sound of laughter, in a smile, in the way a person stands waiting for the train, in the way we walk, smile, talk, bite our lip mindlessly….

SO LAUGH, LOVE, LIVE, BE SENSUAL….

YOU WERE BORN WITH IT

from Queens, with Love,

Cathy D

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UPCOMING Workshop: The Art of Sensual Relaxation - TAP INTO YOUR SENSES!
Click the link for details

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What women say about Sensuality:

“Sensuality to me is the comfort to explore yourself and lean into what makes you feel your sexiest.”

— Sabrina

“When I think about Sensuality I think about using the senses to draw someone in, or to have meaningful pleasure that is heightened by the senses.”

— Sally

“Sensuality for me is embodying your full self, your full expression and breathing through that, fulfilling the depth of every sensation experienced in the present moment.”

— Lauren

“Sensuality for me is always related to self love ️”

— Dani

“Sensuality is the part that, because it is only felt by the feeler, we own completely. So often women’s sexuality gets used for others pleasure - but sensuality is strictly for our own experience. We own it, we control it, we reap the benefits. There’s a lot of agency in being conscious of how to make ones self (and not necessarily anyone else) feel good.”

— Amy

“The essence of relating to ourselves and nature. to see things with a perspective of connection and the awareness of how we do and say things from the heart.”

— Riama

“Presence is the first thing that comes to mind”

— Gigi

“When the eyes lock and speak without words and evokes a smile that then spreads warmth to my heart and down to my flower.

Softness of your voice that awakens my soul.

Warmth in your embrace as I take in your essence through my breath

Deep beats as I move my body to the vibrations of music.
Music is a sensual language”

— Elaine

“Cozy enough in your own body, that you’re willing to explore it”

— Tressie

“Sensuality is a personal relationship with yourself & connections to the pleasures of the self: physically & mentally. It lends to a deeper unspoken connection w/ another person.  The greater the awareness of your body, the stronger the bond between you, self, & the health of your surroundings .”

— Lizzie

“Sensuality is to feel, experience and express sensations from the physical world. I think there’s another component to it though — a person must feel comfortable and free to express their feelings and experiences and I think without that, sensuality is reduced. For example, if I’m with a person that is judgmental or more closed off, I’m much less likely to share, and sometimes even feel and experience, the sensations from the physical world.”

— Christina

“La sensualité pour moi, c’est cette capacité à pouvoir être  simplement soi-même et en avoir l’assurance. C’est être naturellement “vrai(e)” (une personne qui surjoue ou triche, ce n’est pas sensuel pour moi) et être réceptif à la vie, au vivant et aux sensations.
Et je pense que c’est pour cela que les personnes sensuelles sont comme des magnets.”

— Laura

“I’d say it’s getting out of my head and checking in with my body to really connect and pay attention to my senses.”

— Molly

“Sensuality is being comfortable in your skin. Owning your subtleties.”

— Muriel

“Sensuality is important and women should feel free to express what they’re feeling as long as they don’t cause harm to themselves or others.”

— Dina

“Sensuality to me is admiring my body in it’s natural state without judgement.
How I relate to sensuality is by taking the time to care for my vessel. Food is also sometimes a sensual experience.
Food has excited me from the inside out before.
Sensuality is all about experiences for me
Intimate experiences. At times personal sometimes with someone else.”

— Dan'yelle

Anointing + Yoga Nidra Workshop

2 hours of self care and relaxation! You don't need to bring anything apart from your beautiful self and an open mind, oh yes and wear super comfy clothing, specially tops! You'll work with specific essential oils applied along the spine, a specific protocol designed to support your wellbeing, as we move out of summer and into fall, followed by a juicy Yoga Nidra (guided mediation) to really soak in the healing properties of the plants and to restore your body and mind.

Fancy bringing a friend? Feel free to share the this page with them.

When: Sunday September 22nd

Time: 12 - 2 PM

Where: 636, 6th Ave (entrance on 19th street, between 5/6 ave), 3rd floor, Laughing Lotus Yoga Studio

Fee: $30

RSVP Here!!!

5 essential oils to stay grounded

Autumn is one of my favorite season.

I love the cooler air gently blowing in my hair, the leaves on the trees turning to fiery colors, the sound as they make their way down to the ground and underneath my feet. But with all changes comes uncertainty, feeling of anxiety as everything seems to be speeding rapidly towards the Holidays, the end of the year.

To enjoy the season fully, we must stay grounded and these oils will help you doing just that!

1. Cypress helps your energy flow while bringing you feelings of calmness for both your body and mind. If your breath is shallow, add a drop to your palm, cup it around your nose and breathe it in to bring more oxygen to your body and create space for your anxious mind.

2. Arbovitae oil helps when there is feelings of distrust, stubborn mind and uncertainty. A great oil to use during meditation for a sense of peace and calm.

3. Frankincense, the king of oils. Help us reconnect to our “Truth” when we feel disconnected and unprotected. Apply to bottom of your feet to promote feelings of relaxation and balance mood.

4. Lavender. Calms the overthinking mind and supports emotional grounding.

5. Vetiver This unique thick oil is known to bring calmness when the mind is overactive. When used aromatically and topically (rub on soles of your feet) it may help bring us down into the physical world, out of the mind chatter

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Easy recipe to ease your mind through ungrounded feelings:

Ground to Uplift

Roller Blend Recipe

• 10 drops of Arbovitae

• 10 drops of Lavender

• 8 drops of Wild Orange

• Fractionated Coconut Oil

Add all the oils to a 10ml roller bottle, top off with FCO.

Apply on wrists, temples, back of the neck & sole of the feet as needed to promote a feeling of calmness while uplifting your spirit!